Speak it

speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.

Day 6/31: i do not particularly enjoy confrontation. i used to prefer to avoid it, even if it meant that i took on the burden of carrying anger or resentment. i realize that i have gradually over time become better at handling conflict and confrontation directly because of the work that i do. the necessity of advocating for others and dealing with challenging systems has somehow bled into my personal life. as i became a better advocate for others, i also became a better advocate for myself.

maybe it was turning 30. something changed for me in the last year. it is empowering to speak your truth, even if it means confronting someone that you wish not to. i realize now that confrontation is not a bad thing. in an age where it is so easy to be passive aggressive and air out our grievances though posts and texts, i think it is important to be able to speak directly to people. let them know when actions cause hurt or pain. and also to apologize directly when i am the one in the wrong. this is how we mend things and change. it is often uncomfortable, but usually worth it.

Pass by

if you listen hard, you can hear the ancient advice:

pass by whatever you do not love.

-the art of pilgrimage (p.85)-

Day 5/31:"the art of pilgrimage: the seeker's guide to making travel sacred" by phil cousineau is one of my very favorites. pass by whatever you do not love. 
to me, this means... be aware of the world around you. be ready to stop and pause, enjoy, or notice that which fills you up. be mindful on the journey by letting go of the things that do not serve you, and cherishing the things that do!

if we don't pass by the things that we love, that means we are stopping. that means we are spending time. that means we have more joy. when we get busy, we rush around and pass by lots of things in our hurried states.

today i am thinking about how i can apply this more to my daily life. i think that it really is just about noticing what is, loving what is.

Miss the Moment

if you miss the moment, you miss your life.

-john daido loori-

Day 4/31: we fixate on the future and the past. i see it every day in my work. loved ones get so anxious and wrapped up in a question that is rarely answered accurately, yet always robs people of precious moments. how much time does she have left?  how many days? i try to tell them not to worry about that, to focus on the present day, the gift that the now is offering in communion with each other   but i know it is so hard. i feel sad for those people because i know they will come to regret these final days spent seeking answers to gain control, when the sand is slipping through the sieve ever so fast. the moments are so fleeting. "don't miss them!" i want to shout.

but the truth is we are all guilty of missing out on the moments. we hold infinite distraction in our hands, our screens and lenses draw us away from what is unfolding. i try to be more conscious of getting drawn in, and drawn away. it is work-in-progress. i don't want to miss my precious, beautiful life.

I Got My Wish

i got my wish. i got everything i asked for.

-under the tuscan sun-

Day 3/31: sometimes life gets so busy and we get caught up in pursuit of the things we want that we don't even realize we already have them. i love this quote from "under the tuscan sun." everything francesca wished for came true, but she did not notice it herself because it did not look exactly how she expected it to. 

this happens to all of us. for me it can happen when unloading the dishes for the third time in a day...and then it hits me as i put away someone's little sippy cup. i got the daughter i always dreamed of.  or when i am driving home, exhausted, from a long day at my job...and it hits me that this is exactly what i worked so hard and for so long to be able to do. 

this quote reminds me to stop, and look at all that has unfolded around me in my life. it reminds me to consider that i, too, got everything i asked for. and for that i am grateful.

My Sunshine

you are my sunshine. my only sunshine.

Day 2/31: there is this little girl who used to be my baby. she is now a big kid. growing faster than I could have ever imagined. she loves the "sunshine" song. she used to tear up when it would play on her toddler pandora station. we would come in and comfort her and she would nestle in on our chests with her arms tucked in, head on our shoulders. it was the sweetest thing in the world...to see a little one moved to tears by a sweet song. now we sing it together in a happy tone so it doesn't upset her when she is trying to sleep. you are my sunshine. my only sunshine. please don't take my ruby away.

Be the Rainbow

be the rainbow in someone else's cloud
-maya angelou-


Day 1/31: Sitting outside after a rainy day. Today was my first day back to work from a nice vacation in Michigan. It rained a lot there, too. Thinking about all the people who are like rainbows to me. They often come unexpectedly, or unnoticed in a day's time. How can I be that rainbow to others? 

Mandala Project Explained

What is a Mandala?
Mandalas are circles....sacred circles. Mandalas appear in all aspects of life such as the Sun, Moon, Earth, and circles of life. Mandalas can be created by people to symbolize their journeys though life. They can also tell a story of where and individual has been. 

This is my mandala story.
In 31 days I will be turning 31-years old! Last year, I blogged on my Grateful for Thirty site each day about one person in my life I was grateful for every for 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday. It was a really enjoyable practice that helped me embrace turning 30 with so much appreciation for the beautiful collage of people that fill up my life. So this year, I have decided to continue with a practice, though it will be a little different.

This year I will be working on a piece of art every day for 31 days. Each day I will create a mandala that is inspired by a story, message or belief that I hold true. I hope to make it a meditative practice, and something that I can do by just carving out 5-10 minutes of my day. At the end of the journey, I plan to turn the mandalas into greeting cards and send them off...a symbolic gesture, just likes the monks do when they are done creating their sand mandalas. The sand mandalas are ritualistically destroyed once complete to symbolize impermanence of life. 

So here it goes....

Tibetan Monks making a mandala one sand grain at a time, Austin City Hall, 2011